Growing through changes...

Well its one thing to look young and another thing to feel young and then to actually be young. Yesterday my little brother the youngest in the family returned from his holiday in Spain with his girlfriend, Although he is the youngest in the family, he is no longer the little brother he used to be. he is all grown up. 19 years old at 190cm tall, and me 24 at a measly 160cm. 

Me and My brother back in 2007 in France

My brother in 2007 in France

Me, Mom, Brother, His Girlfriend, My sister September 2012

Me (looking scary) and My brother on my birthday April 2013

In he came with his suitcase full of all the stories of his holiday, the mistakes he made the trips they took  and so on, It made me nostalgic for my first trip i took without my family to China, I can remember the ups and downs and everything, the argument i had with my mom the night before i flew, the wonderful sights and i saw there, the excitement. 

Me in China, The year of the OX

But there is one thing i feel guilty about, it only dawned on me just now while typing this. Yesterday when my brother got back the first thing my sister said is "Iain where are our gifts?????" that was the most important thing for her, when i went to china i never bought a specific gift for her. II received a lot of jewelry when i was over there and i told her to pick what she liked. I  don't know why, and I think in her own way she still resents me for that in her own way. Its never ever came up. 

My brother produced 4 purses our of his suitcase, and handed me the white and pink one, and then took out 3 similar looking dark rustic coloured purses and handed them to my sister and told her, You. Mom, and Grandma can fight over these. 

I know myself i am probably the easiest person to shop for because if its pink i will love it lol! Anyway I have learned that the most important thing for people is gifts you can give to them and doing it right, putting a bit of thought into the gifts you give even if its just a trinket is important. 

isolation spreads like bad karma

I came back from Italy last week and immediately became immersed in college work, in fact, I ended up letting my group mates down, while I was in Italy, they were preparing a presentation and although we emailed back and fourth, they told me that they were going to split it up into 3 and I could just enjoy my holiday.

This was very kind of them, but also it made me feel very unconfortable. Because I don't like social loafing and I like to do my bit, Anyway the day I came back was a wednesday and I was tired and obviously wanted to spend time with my boyfriend and basically completely forgot about the presentation then just as we were about to go to bed, I text one of my group mates and asked were they meeting on Thursday (The presentation was on Friday)

I woke up at 10am and they told me "yep were meeting up at 11 but you don't have to come if you don't want to because you live so far away......." I really should of gone in.. but I hadn't seen my boyfriend for so long and he persuaded me to skip college for one day.

But on Friday, I felt so sorry, I hadn't seen the presentation, I didn't give any input it was just a totally embarassing experience I said sorry everytime i saw them. But in the end sorry doesn't mean anything. I didn't do anything. So of course I should be ashamed. Even today one week later, I still feel embarassed when I see them and can hardly engage in conversation with them. Although they said its fine... I still feel its not.

Then today I encountered another unconfortable situation today, not neccessarily regarding a presentation, so far this week i have had lunch with my friend Nancy and she was the one who even asked me. During the class breaks she often asks me do you want to go get water with me? and generally I say sure. Then today she did the same thing.

We went to the canteen and got our water and sat down and started chating, then one chinese girl from our class came over and I straight away said oh why don't you sit down. but I guess she was sitting somewhere else with other chinese students. Then another Chinese girl sat near us and talked to Nancy obviously in Chinese and then after she finished talking she said oh lets go back to class. Then whilst we walked back she said something that made me feel really unconfortable and out of place.

She said mmm Its wierd, I feel a bit isolated I should talk more with those chinese classmates, but I haven't been doing that to much because I have been spending lots of time with you.. then class began

Its nearly lunch time now and I feel a bit hurt, maybe I shouldn't but I don't know how to interpret it and not take offense.Now i feel isolated...

Que sera, sera

I'm back from my brief blog hiatus, I just had to take some time out mainly because we had to move house and it took us awhile to get the internet set back up. First things first we didn't end up moving in with my boyfriends friends. I think we made the right decision although our new place is quite small. Its essentially a studio apartment. Its rather basic and I'm surprised we were able to find a place for all of our 15 bags of stuff.

Yes 15 bags! My boyfriend couldn't believe it, before he used to be able to move with just 2 bags, he couldn't understand how I could possibly have increased it to 15. Its surprising what people accumulate over a year.  We brought clothes, laptops, shoes (obviously) and then I don't know what the hell all the other junk was!

Although I said I won't be going on holidays this year.... because I will be stuck in summer school... I have managed to squeeze a short break in! I will be going to Tuscany, Florence in Italy for 10 days with  my family! The funny thing about my dad picking Italy is that, My boyfriends sister lives in Italy. I have never met her before though, but my boyfriends hopeful that I may be able to meet up with her while I'm over there.

A few weeks ago I mentioned that my boyfriend was trying to find a new job and may have to move to another town... however he fortunately found another one close by so that didn't happen. but sadly there's rumors going around that the boss of the new restaurant has huge debts and could close at any minute. So he may have to go job hunting again. Just as we thought things were settling down.

Also we finally submitted our application, its all signed sealed and delivered and we have decided whatever will be will be. If its successful we will start planning and saving to go on a trip to China, If it is unsuccessful we will move to China. and apply again from there. My boyfriend is preparing for the worst and has been trying to force me to speak Chinese with him which is really difficult since I am still more or less at beginner level anyway Wow! big choices and decisions. 

However on Friday we realised there is another complication with the application, We have to submit more docmentation @.@ Including my passport which I am not very happy about, apparently they will send it back as soon as they have finished examining it. I am worried I won't get it back in time for my holiday The holidays already been paid for and we must submit these documents within 21 days. The solicitor told me that I should get it back after 7 days. But its not guaranteed. Hope for the best.

Lazy me!

Guess where I am going to be spending Summer this year?

Portugal or Spain?

Camping in France? would you believe I have never truly been camping before, Apparently it's too low end for my parents. They want guaranteed sun and absolutely no risk of rain. Perhaps some day me and my boyfriend will go proper camping with a camp fire, toasted marshmallows and a tent and sleeping bags and blow up camping beds.

Sailing around Europe?

None of the above, I will be attending summer school, for the first time in my life, well thats not entirely true, when I was in my final year in Secondary school my Parents (Mom) sent me to some intensive 2 week Irish courses and 2 week french courses during the summer. But I was still able to go on holidays somewhere even if it was just to England or Wexford in Ireland.

But this summer school is self inflicted, I was given the option to choose the colossal thesis or to do Summer School, and I opted for the easier of the two.

Well I didn't just opt for the Summer School because I am lazy but also because I wanted to get to see my friends during the summer, and the vast majority of my college friends are doing Summer School,

Secondly I didn't like the idea of being left to my own devices to do a whole 100 page+ project on my own, with no input from anyone. If it had of been a disertation which involves a group of 5 doing a thesis style project I may have considered it.

Thirdly the lecturer who is supposed to be the Thesis is a terribly intimadating lecturer and although she appeared to like me during some classes at other times I really disliked her class, she always used to put me on the spot. Like suddenly throw a question at me without me putting my hand up. Then making me feel embarassed/

Fourthly I think having 4 months to do a project would make me put it on the long finger and keep saying ah I have plenty of time.... then in the end I would be rushing like mad. I like deadlines.

Anyway today the Module registration for Summer school began today and it seems like we have 8 options.

1. Inovation Networks.
2. Cross Cultural Management
3. Technology Management and Inovation
4. Organisation renewal
5. Managing of Banking Institution
6. WEGE (World Enterprises,Globalisation, Europeanisation,)
7. Corporate Governance
8. Managing Learning in an Organisation

So far I am thinking of the pink ones. But I can change anytime before the summer term starts.

{Has anybody reading this done a thesis? and would you recommend it? Am I lazy?]