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I wish you could have a relationship without money, and most importantly without talking about money. It would just make life so much more easier, no fighting no arguing, I think it would erradicate a lot of meaningless lovers tiffs.

Me and my boyfriend have this problem we both know exactly how much we both get per week, Which then makes spending the money uncomfortable. We get faced with questions like,

Why did you buy that sneaky doughnut before work instead of eating breakfast? HELLO BECAUSE I WANTED TO.

Why did you get a take away today? you know your wasting money? BECAUSE I FINISHED LATE AND WANTED IT.

Why did you buy the more expensive cigarettes and waste our money? (I don't smoke my boyfriend does)

If we both were completely oblivious to each others finances we wouldn't have to worry about having the answers to these questions.  Yesterday for example I started the day with 150 Euro in my purse, by tonight i had 100.  My boyfriends like where did 50 euro go?

Cough medicine, (still suffering from the flue)

Spot cream (Tea tree witch Hazel spot wand)

Cinema tickets

Bus ticket

Train tickets

Take away

2 work lunches

Face wipes

a bottle of coke

and maybe a bunch of other things i forgot

But in my opinion its my money its my problem if i spend it on a load of unneccary crap. You know how my parents deal with this crap? They both have separate bank accounts. They never explain what happened with there money. Thats the way I want to be one day. just like them. I pay for certain bills and my husband would pay for other bills and no questions would ever be asked. How do you guys deal with this? There has to be other easy solutions.

Be my Sugar Mama!!!

You know how all races have these cute ego booster phrases like

Once you go black you never go back,

Once you go asian you never go caucasian 

Hwang Chan Sung

I am sure there are loads more. But these are the ones that spring to mind. Well a few weeks ago a friend of mine started going out with an African guy (Lets call him Tyson lol I have a crush on Tyson Beckford lol)  It was her first time dating someone African so obviously there is a lot of culture things that I am sure she knew nothing about. (Bear in mind this guy is not African Irish, He was born and raised in Ivory Coast and emigrated to Ireland.)

The Game

I am not saying she is saying I will never date another person from another race again. This isn't the interesting thing. What I was shocked about was that up until this Tyson had only been dating Sugar Mamas. I don't want to say the more up to date cougar, I just think it sounds seedy.

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon

But for example Tysons last "girlfriend" or Sugar Mama was 50. To put it in perspective my friend is 23. Tyson is 27. I am not saying this is anything to do with race, I know for sure there are some young irish men with older women. But to be honest I don't know any of them. I guess there kept a secret. 

The thing that makes me feel unconfortable is the age difference between Tyson and the last Sugar Mama was 23 years and my friend is 23. Its like he's been dating the mom now he wants the daugther. It feels perverted. I am sorry if I sound ageist. 

I don't know what the right response should be. Why is there no cute ego booster phrases for men who like sugar mamas never going back. Does anyone know of any cute ego booster phrases for this? I don't know who I feel worse for. The sugar mama who has been dropped for someone half there age.  Whatever happened to Wine tastes better with age....

But then again are Sugar Mama toy boy relationships ever going to be long term? Would you be comfortable dating someone who used to date Sugar Mamas ? 

A male friend

During the past few months away from my blog I did a series of courses, My chinese course, I am now on Level 3, My boyfriend says I am now as good as a senior infants child. basically a kid who is in their second year of primary school.

My French friend from class said my boyfriend has a great way of complementing people lol. But I took it on board as a good thing. Anyway other than that friend the rest of the people in my Chinese class are much older than me.

But asides from that course I also did a CV and interview skills course and that course had more people my own age, including one guy who went to school with one of my old friends and at the beginning of the course I talked about my boyfriend and how I was learning Chinese.

But at the end of the course this guy Johnathon, asked me for my phone number and I was a bit surprised to say the least but didn't see any harm in it. I come against this situation so often, people sometimes men or women asking me for my phone number and i don't particularly want them to have my phone number. What can i do or say? sorry I don't have a mobile, sorry i don't think its appropriate for you to have my phone number? Then I just seem like a big bitch. 

But within a few days he was texting me and asking do I want to meet up blah blah.  out of politeness and thinking theres no harm, I met him in dun laoighraire, and it was going fine, we were having a nce chat, then he started trying to pay for things for me and then alarm bells started ringing and I had to get out of there. Then we ended the meet up with a hand shake which was a bit weird, Then after that day I started avoiding him as if he had the plague.

Then I was at my families house on Friday chatting to my mom and told her about what happened and my mom said Sarah you have to be more careful, A man and a woman can never remain just friends ever. To me this statement seems terribly old fashioned. I mean its the 21st century surely a man and a woman can stay just friends if they want. 

I don't often talk about Africans in my blog but recently I was talking to one of my african male friends. The topic of female friends came up and he said no matter whether a woman is married, single, separated, divorced. If a male and a female are in a house together alone something is going to happen. He personally doesn't allow his girlfriend to have any of his friends numbers, in case there is temptation. In particular African male friends. I really thought this was too extreme.  (By the way we weren't alone lol)

My boyfriend doesn't mind me having his friends numbers because he knows nothing would ever happen with them but he hates other strange men he doesn't know having my number. Its funny how different cultures see things. 

shoud you tell?

Last night I stayed at my house and watched Sex in the City 1 with my mom and Sex in the city 2 with my sister today and it really made me think about cheating and my own thoughts about it.

I just can't understand why people who cheat always have to tell their boyfriend, partner, husband or whatever what happened. Especially when it was a one time thing that meant nothing. What is the point? to relieve your concience? I just think its so selfish. I think people are better off living in oblivion. If you do something bad you should have to live with that guilt forever.

The inocent person shoudn't have to suffer through that hurt. Then my sister said to me if Michael (My boyfriend) kissed another girl would I not want to know? I really feel I would rather not. Then she said if she kissed another boy she would be living a lie. But isn't that their own fault?

In the past when I was younger maybe 14 or 15, I was bored one morning and my dad's phone was just lying there on the coffee table in the living room and even though I knew my mom had told me so many times, we have to respect peoples privacy and not read their messages I still couldn't resist.

When I read them I found out my Dad was cheating on my mom. Sometimes I think it was an optical illusion, because nothing ever materialised about it, As far as I'm aware my mom never found out about and my parents are still together.

But for 2 or 3 years and even now I had to live with that guilt in my head that I knew something I wasn't supposed to know, because I did something I wasn't supposed to do. It was a huge conflict within me that even to this day have never been able to resolve.

I even had a fair idea who the woman was, although it was only guesswork, the name was quite unusual and  put two and two together and got her. I had met her, it was somebody I knew of who I had met a couple of times she was in my Dad's badminton club.

I remember around the time I found out, whenever I got angry with my Dad I always wanted to yell it at my Dad and tell him that I knew what he was doing. I even wanted to tell my mom sometimes but I was scared that (A) I would get in trouble for disobeying her, (B) the consiquences.

One of my uncles wives had an affair and my uncle found out and they got divorced and now his children from that marriage are all messed up. One of them went on drugs and the other well we never see her. So I think I would feel a hell of a lot more guilty if i ruined my sister and brothers family life, because I wanted to put my concience at ease.

I think someday I will tell him that I knew all these years what happened back then perhaps. but I really can't imagine the outcome. Would he scream at me for reading his text messages without his permission? Would he plead with me not to tell my mom? Would he break down and say how sorry he was and it meant nothing? I guess I will never know.  I really don't think its worth it.

My boyfriend's family has also struggled with cheating, so don't think Chinese culture is imune to it. My boyfriends dad is the owner of a factory in another town and owns an appartment there and only comes back to the family home once a week or two weeks or a month, or maybe two monthes. My boyfriend doesn't really know and his mom obviously doesn't want to tell him, in case it hurts him.

But its normal for Chinese couples to live like this. I know Chinese couples in Ireland where one lives in the North of Ireland and the other lives in the South and they meet once a week/month whenever they have free time.

But the problem with my boyfriends parents is that. One day his Dad came back to the family home at around dinner time and hadn''t been back for almost two weeks and went bananas when there wasn't any food ready for him  Then he called a delivery restaurant and a much younger girl dropped in food for him and she came into the house and started eating with him.

His mom saw this and put two and two together, and there was a bust up. His Dad claimed that, the younger girl was the owner of the restaurant, was a friend of his and he just invited her to join him. whats the problem? and they haven't talked since.

Thats why I am adamant that I really really would rather not know.

I think to be oblivious is Bliss!