Grab a doughnut or a bagel what the hell?

When I was in UCD, I didn't really eat lunches there, only on the odd occasion because my time table was always just morning or just evening classes so I didn't really have full days, most of the time I would just buy the odd snack here and there like Crisps, Choclate, Sweets and a few toasted wraps here and there.

But when I was in the National College of Ireland, It was in the city centre, and I had so many options for lunch like the Bagel Bar, Subway, Centra, Spar, plus the college's canteen.

Now I'm working the only places around are Centra, A Chipper, and 4 Star pizza. Basically since I started here I have nearly got something from the Centra Delli everyday like wedges, Chicken, Cheese, Onion panini and now I'm bored. Today I had Chipper food and I still felt bored, I didn't want to get a pizza cause I thought it would be weird and plus I'm not mad on pizza.

Now I'm trying to think of things I could bring to work, Once my boyfriend gave me rice, and fried chicken in a lunch box,  another time he gave me fried pork and vegetables.

But  I think part of the challenge is I'm fussy as you all remember from my foody issues post.

Speaking of food did you know the first Friday of June was The National Doughnut day?  Whats your favourite type of doughnut? Mine is absolutely Boston Cream!!! Yum Yum!

Sharing is caring

I wish you could have a relationship without money, and most importantly without talking about money. It would just make life so much more easier, no fighting no arguing, I think it would erradicate a lot of meaningless lovers tiffs.

Me and my boyfriend have this problem we both know exactly how much we both get per week, Which then makes spending the money uncomfortable. We get faced with questions like,

Why did you buy that sneaky doughnut before work instead of eating breakfast? HELLO BECAUSE I WANTED TO.

Why did you get a take away today? you know your wasting money? BECAUSE I FINISHED LATE AND WANTED IT.

Why did you buy the more expensive cigarettes and waste our money? (I don't smoke my boyfriend does)

If we both were completely oblivious to each others finances we wouldn't have to worry about having the answers to these questions.  Yesterday for example I started the day with 150 Euro in my purse, by tonight i had 100.  My boyfriends like where did 50 euro go?

Cough medicine, (still suffering from the flue)

Spot cream (Tea tree witch Hazel spot wand)

Cinema tickets

Bus ticket

Train tickets

Take away

2 work lunches

Face wipes

a bottle of coke

and maybe a bunch of other things i forgot

But in my opinion its my money its my problem if i spend it on a load of unneccary crap. You know how my parents deal with this crap? They both have separate bank accounts. They never explain what happened with there money. Thats the way I want to be one day. just like them. I pay for certain bills and my husband would pay for other bills and no questions would ever be asked. How do you guys deal with this? There has to be other easy solutions.

Procrastination time

The build up to Tuesday, the stress of having to finish projects nearly killed me, I know I left the finishing off to the last minute and that's what caused all the stress and anxiety, but once I finally submitted them I thought I would feel a huge sense of relief but instead I didn't, Frankly I felt a bit faint and like I wanted to throw up. This could of been because I drank two cans of red bull.

It was just an anti climax, maybe I felt I could of done better if I had more time.... I have a terrible problem with procrastinating these days. When time is almost running out for something I can't concentrate anymore I want to do anything but that.

the day before the project was due to be handed in, I went out to my local 2 euro shops searching for something, anything, I bought 2 packs of sour wine gums (2 for 2 euro) I love sour sweets so it was such a great bargain and find for me because sour sweets are almost impossible to find these days and Cherryade, I thought it would give me motivation.

Then I went to the bookshop to browse, and found a new book that I desperately want, but I resisted the temptation because I knew if I bought that I wouldn't do an ounce of college work til I had finished reading it.  So once my exams are finished I am going to treat myself to it.

Rosie Mckinsley- Gypsy Girl

Then I came home tried to finish off my project and ended up doing the hoovering 

Then having a shower 

and then sitting down trying to work on the project.

Then my boyfriend came home and I talked to him for ages and just couldn't find the get up and go to finish off my project. Then the next morning I had to get up early to finish them both off because I knew time was almost up and I had absolutely no choice. 

So today I should of started preparing for my exams. I have one exam on the 3rd of May and one on the 7th of May. also I have a presentation on in June for my summer school, its about Japanese and Korean trade unions, employment systems, the state.

I decided to research that instead of study. I don't know why, probably because its more interesting than knuckling down and trying to understand International financial Management which I feel is a lost cause and Global competitive strategies is appealing but I just couldn't get myself started.

I just feel like I am having a mental block, maybe I am distracted, or worried, our application submition date is looming on us, we literally only have one more thing to get and were good to go. (even the one more thing we have to do, i don't want to do, I have to ask the neighbour to sign a letter for us and lately I have had mixed feelings about them, there hot and cold) once we submit the application, we face a 3 month wait and then hey presto we never have to think about it ever again. If it all goes well of course.

I also learned something else this week, I really hate being the stay at home person in a relationship. I don't think I will ever be able to be a full time stay at home mom. 

Up until recently my boyfriend has only been working part time. I used to go to college in the morning and find him waiting for me at night when I got home. I got used to that routine and now hes working full time again and now I am the one saying good bye to him in the morning and waiting for him to come home in the evening.  I never realized how hard it was on him. when he sometimes said don't go I will miss you I always brushed it off, he was just being needy.

It sucks. I know its only temporarily until my summer school begins and then I will be in college 9-5 everyday. 

Another dilemma has occurred my ex boyfriend has asked to study with me in my new college, because its closer to his home than our old college and I didn't have the heart to say no.  Now I am not sure if I want to study with him and I don't like waiting for a text from him saying hey lets go and study together today. 

I don't know what to do. I feel like a burst balloon.