Procrastination time

The build up to Tuesday, the stress of having to finish projects nearly killed me, I know I left the finishing off to the last minute and that's what caused all the stress and anxiety, but once I finally submitted them I thought I would feel a huge sense of relief but instead I didn't, Frankly I felt a bit faint and like I wanted to throw up. This could of been because I drank two cans of red bull.

It was just an anti climax, maybe I felt I could of done better if I had more time.... I have a terrible problem with procrastinating these days. When time is almost running out for something I can't concentrate anymore I want to do anything but that.

the day before the project was due to be handed in, I went out to my local 2 euro shops searching for something, anything, I bought 2 packs of sour wine gums (2 for 2 euro) I love sour sweets so it was such a great bargain and find for me because sour sweets are almost impossible to find these days and Cherryade, I thought it would give me motivation.

Then I went to the bookshop to browse, and found a new book that I desperately want, but I resisted the temptation because I knew if I bought that I wouldn't do an ounce of college work til I had finished reading it.  So once my exams are finished I am going to treat myself to it.

Rosie Mckinsley- Gypsy Girl

Then I came home tried to finish off my project and ended up doing the hoovering 

Then having a shower 

and then sitting down trying to work on the project.

Then my boyfriend came home and I talked to him for ages and just couldn't find the get up and go to finish off my project. Then the next morning I had to get up early to finish them both off because I knew time was almost up and I had absolutely no choice. 

So today I should of started preparing for my exams. I have one exam on the 3rd of May and one on the 7th of May. also I have a presentation on in June for my summer school, its about Japanese and Korean trade unions, employment systems, the state.

I decided to research that instead of study. I don't know why, probably because its more interesting than knuckling down and trying to understand International financial Management which I feel is a lost cause and Global competitive strategies is appealing but I just couldn't get myself started.

I just feel like I am having a mental block, maybe I am distracted, or worried, our application submition date is looming on us, we literally only have one more thing to get and were good to go. (even the one more thing we have to do, i don't want to do, I have to ask the neighbour to sign a letter for us and lately I have had mixed feelings about them, there hot and cold) once we submit the application, we face a 3 month wait and then hey presto we never have to think about it ever again. If it all goes well of course.

I also learned something else this week, I really hate being the stay at home person in a relationship. I don't think I will ever be able to be a full time stay at home mom. 

Up until recently my boyfriend has only been working part time. I used to go to college in the morning and find him waiting for me at night when I got home. I got used to that routine and now hes working full time again and now I am the one saying good bye to him in the morning and waiting for him to come home in the evening.  I never realized how hard it was on him. when he sometimes said don't go I will miss you I always brushed it off, he was just being needy.

It sucks. I know its only temporarily until my summer school begins and then I will be in college 9-5 everyday. 

Another dilemma has occurred my ex boyfriend has asked to study with me in my new college, because its closer to his home than our old college and I didn't have the heart to say no.  Now I am not sure if I want to study with him and I don't like waiting for a text from him saying hey lets go and study together today. 

I don't know what to do. I feel like a burst balloon.

Back to Business

Today I had a sudden reawakening, the midterm break is well and truly over and the next 4 weeks are going to be like hell for me, So many assignments are due all at once. Oh my god what kind of insane scheduling system do they use at my college?

Despite the fact that all Masters students, at least under my major International Business, all study only 3 subjects per semester (Although we have a heck of alot of assignments for each subject.) Which does seem relatively lenient compared to my undergraduate degree where I had to study 6 subjects per semester. 

 

But in my undergraduate degree the lecturers were very careful to schedule different due weeks for different subjects so we never or rarely had to submit 2 assignments in one week. Which had its up's and down's

 

Ups being, We never felt overly pressurised because we only had one thing to focus on per week.

 

Downs being everyone felt this was the colleges way of suggesting that things should be done at the last minute and thus everything was always put on the long finger. Everyone always used to say "ah we have plenty of time we don't need to think about it yet" and it became the norm that students would start a project at the beginning of the week it was due. Which meant on a due date, everyone was in a last minute frenxzy. But for the rest of the time they were totally relaxed and totally lazy

 

On the other hand having all assignments due on the same dates or at least weeks, makes everyone feel pressurized all the time and makes me at least feel like there is not enough time in the day to get everything done. I'm not superwoman! but nor is anyone else. Anyway I have noticed in my current college UCD there is no or barely any last minute frenzy's. Just 24/7 frenzies. .

For instance this semester I have 3 subjects :

1. Global Competitive strategies, we have

• 4 presentations worth 10% 1 2 3 4
• 12, 1 page case study analysises 1 due each week worth 10% 1-8 9 10 11 12
• 1 group project 30 pages. worth 30%
• Exam worth 50% 

2. Project management

• 2 individual reports
• 1 group report
• 1 presentation

 3. International Financial Management

• 2 group reports
• 1 exam

The greens and yellows show the overlap and orange shows the completed ones. So basically in the next 4 weeks I have to complete more or less all of the above and then I will have the exams at the end of April, I haven't taken an exam in almost a year. So I'm not looking forward to them especially not the International Financial Management exam.

I would like to say these are the only projects I have going on but I would be lying, I also have my boyfriend's visa application project (also here) on my shoulders, which I haven't talked about here for ages, because frankly there have been no updates at all up until Friday. My boyfriend's boss finally gave him his P60 which means we can cross one more thing off the list. Hurray!

Now we only have 4 things left to do

• Letter from employer working since….. paying taxes
• Letter from Irish friend
• Utility Bills
• Joint Bank Account statement (3 months)

Fingers crossed we will have the application submitted by the end of April. My boyfriend has promised that once our application has been submited we will go to church once a week to make sure gods on our side.