My fear got the better of me

Sorry for the long absence I have just been mega busy with exams, projects and moving apartments but most of that's over now except for the moving...

I think I mentioned it briefly before, but I have an absolutely horrible fear of dogs, sorry too all my dog lover readers, I don't mind looking at cute dog pictures, or seeing a dog on the street on a lead. I have absolutely no problem with that.

In fact there are a few dogs that I have grown to like, it just takes time for me to get used to them like my cousins dog, I am ok with it, I wouldn't bring it home with me but I can deal with it.

But when it comes to big dogs running around me going berserk I completely lose my head. This is exactly what happened tonight.

This week one of my boyfriends friends got a new job in our town and me and my boyfriend were trying to help him settle in and find a new place, We found a house and went to have a look at it. The plan was we would meet the owner in front of the Superquin bus stop and then he would show us the house.

When we got to the bus stop the first thing I saw was a greyhound leaping around like a maniac, my first reaction was oh my god I want that dog as far away from me as possible then the owner of the house started to lead us towards the house and the greyhound ran around us about 10 times. I was starting to get more and more unconfortable and I asked my boyfriend could we just wait at the bus stop while his friend looks at the house.

You think that would of been the logical thing to do because the house is not for us. But no he wouldn't, he got angry and told me to go home, I was so furious and felt he was being completely unreasonable and the other thing that really annoyed me was that both his friend and him and the owner were laughing.

Then when he got home he tried to explain to me that if he didn't go into the house he would be a weak man. well now you are just a selfish man. I just felt so disrespected, I always avoid putting him in uncomfortable positions.

The icing on the cake was when he said "now we can't go anywhere because I will be afraid there will be loose dogs there to scare you". I said your being out of proportion, if it was somewhere that we have to go that's important, then i would just deal with it. But if its something that is not important like why do I want to see your friends perspective house? he eventually agreed I was right.

I am still not happy, but I will come around, he's still in the dog house,

Terrible reaction at 2AM on a Sunday Night

 Yesterday was like any ordinary typical Sunday, I got up late hung around the house doing nothing, waiting for my mom to go and collect my Grandma as usual, so that I could leave and go to my boyfriend's apartment. That happened as usual and then after a few hours i had to go back to my house for dinner and then wait for my dad to drop my Grandma home and me to my boyfriend's apartment again  Usually at about 10ish.

I arrived at the apartment felt freezing wanted to get into bed... My boyfriend wanted to do some late night shopping for some snacks that was fine. We came back had some yogurt played Super Mario til 2am at this stage I was exhausted and wanted us to go to sleep straight away. Then panic struck out... Where is the USB (Camera) with all our application details?

No sooner had he said it til it clicked i had brought it home in my other bag by accident. My boyfriend went ape-shit crazy and said he can't sleep now he's going to be thinking and worrying about it all night. So he started to turn on his computer. I got really annoyed I was  really tired and started insisting that we go to bed then he said no.

Then he  said put your clothes on were going to walk to your house and get if. My initial response was fuck off we will get it in the morning. Then he started shhhing me and telling me to hurry and i just couldn't stop saying fuck off. Resistantly I got dressed walked home got his USB/Camera and then he said your not going back to the apartment.

I started to explain I told my parents I'm sleeping there tonight it will be weird they will think something really strange happened causing me to come back in the middle of the night also everyone's getting up at 7 I won't be able to sleep then he said tough that's your problem Your not coming back with me and with that he left.

Never before has a USB key meant life or death. Anyway I didn't get a wink of sleep woke up felt extremely sick and have  felt horrible all day. Yet I am still considering going down to the apartment and sort out this mess.

One simple request

I have known several Chinese men during the last 3 years, ranging from the incredibly rude, generous, caring, spontaneous, crazy, show offs, etc. But in all my time I have never had such a strange request or more like an order... Last night i was having a nice cosy time with my boyfriend and we were rather loved up. Then he said he wanted to play some games on my phone.... I knew he wanted to read my messages.. ugh i really hate this. I just find it such an intrusion thats private. Its not like i can check his messages and have some fun because he never sends texts anyway except to people from his work, how boring is that? The rest of the time he just calls his friends and speaks in Chinese. So its no fun to play with his phone... In actual fact he wasn't the only man who wanted to check my messages that day.... but thats another story... both times i refused.... and i deleted all my messages. actually by accident but it was a happy accident lol!

Actually my fear of getting my messages checked stems back from when i was a kid, My dad used to have a rule that nobody can check his messages, because they are private.... I was just a kid and was pretty nosey and curious.... and his phone was lying around... and i read his messages several times.... and discovered he was having an affair on my mom. definitely without a doubt. I continued to read his messages for several weeks and then i stoped because i didn't know what to do. I never told my mom and i never said anything to my dad i just kept the secret and often when i was furious with my dad i would cry angry with rage. but i never said anything I felt it was my own fault i should never of checked his messages... I think that whole cheating scenario really had a bad impact on me.. Even now i still have a huge desire and cravingv for new things. new people.  obviously i wouldn't cheat on my boyfriend, but i do enjoy company of new people alot and of other people who i don 't see very often...

Anyway back to the request i got last night "Can i use your phone for 10 days?" Initially i thought it was a joke? I said no, no way. Thats mine why should i give it to him besides i had barely even had the phone 10 days! In fact yesterday was me and my phones 10 days anniversary together lol. Then he got so angry and sulky, eventually i siad fine take it. Just to stop him sulking and then he siad no I don't want it i was just testing you and he said he couldn't believe i was so obsessed with money. He told me that if he had a Chinese girlfriend and asked her could he use her phone for 10 days. she would say of course take it for as long as you want... and she would be happy about it? Then he said so this is irish. you are so ugly. Then he went to sleep. I was left lying there wondering what is so bad about me not letting him have my phone. 

Here is my phone, The Samsung Galaxy Europa

I really don't think it was a money thing, Although his phone is not as good as mine i just couldn't understand why should i give him my phone its mine. i feel a personal attachment to all my phones.

Is this an Irish mentality that we don't share?

Do we always have to get something of equal worth.