Sunday, August 28, 2011

shoud you tell?

Last night I stayed at my house and watched Sex in the City 1 with my mom and Sex in the city 2 with my sister today and it really made me think about cheating and my own thoughts about it.

I just can't understand why people who cheat always have to tell their boyfriend, partner, husband or whatever what happened. Especially when it was a one time thing that meant nothing. What is the point? to relieve your concience? I just think its so selfish. I think people are better off living in oblivion. If you do something bad you should have to live with that guilt forever.

The inocent person shoudn't have to suffer through that hurt. Then my sister said to me if Michael (My boyfriend) kissed another girl would I not want to know? I really feel I would rather not. Then she said if she kissed another boy she would be living a lie. But isn't that their own fault?

In the past when I was younger maybe 14 or 15, I was bored one morning and my dad's phone was just lying there on the coffee table in the living room and even though I knew my mom had told me so many times, we have to respect peoples privacy and not read their messages I still couldn't resist.

When I read them I found out my Dad was cheating on my mom. Sometimes I think it was an optical illusion, because nothing ever materialised about it, As far as I'm aware my mom never found out about and my parents are still together.

But for 2 or 3 years and even now I had to live with that guilt in my head that I knew something I wasn't supposed to know, because I did something I wasn't supposed to do. It was a huge conflict within me that even to this day have never been able to resolve.

I even had a fair idea who the woman was, although it was only guesswork, the name was quite unusual and  put two and two together and got her. I had met her, it was somebody I knew of who I had met a couple of times she was in my Dad's badminton club.

I remember around the time I found out, whenever I got angry with my Dad I always wanted to yell it at my Dad and tell him that I knew what he was doing. I even wanted to tell my mom sometimes but I was scared that (A) I would get in trouble for disobeying her, (B) the consiquences.

One of my uncles wives had an affair and my uncle found out and they got divorced and now his children from that marriage are all messed up. One of them went on drugs and the other well we never see her. So I think I would feel a hell of a lot more guilty if i ruined my sister and brothers family life, because I wanted to put my concience at ease.

I think someday I will tell him that I knew all these years what happened back then perhaps. but I really can't imagine the outcome. Would he scream at me for reading his text messages without his permission? Would he plead with me not to tell my mom? Would he break down and say how sorry he was and it meant nothing? I guess I will never know.  I really don't think its worth it.

My boyfriend's family has also struggled with cheating, so don't think Chinese culture is imune to it. My boyfriends dad is the owner of a factory in another town and owns an appartment there and only comes back to the family home once a week or two weeks or a month, or maybe two monthes. My boyfriend doesn't really know and his mom obviously doesn't want to tell him, in case it hurts him.

But its normal for Chinese couples to live like this. I know Chinese couples in Ireland where one lives in the North of Ireland and the other lives in the South and they meet once a week/month whenever they have free time.

But the problem with my boyfriends parents is that. One day his Dad came back to the family home at around dinner time and hadn''t been back for almost two weeks and went bananas when there wasn't any food ready for him  Then he called a delivery restaurant and a much younger girl dropped in food for him and she came into the house and started eating with him.

His mom saw this and put two and two together, and there was a bust up. His Dad claimed that, the younger girl was the owner of the restaurant, was a friend of his and he just invited her to join him. whats the problem? and they haven't talked since.

Thats why I am adamant that I really really would rather not know.

I think to be oblivious is Bliss!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Birthday distress

Its almost my boyfriends birthday, we are celebrating his birthday according to the lunar calender this year, because apparently his family always celebrated that way and he was working on the day of his actual birthday and i didn't even get to see him :( but never mind.

To be honest my gifts for him have always been a bit hit and miss. The first year we were together I bought him a wallet while I was on holidays. But he didn't like it >.< it was a bit too fat... it couldn't fit in his pocket properly

Then for his birthday last year i gave him some Aftershave and shaving lotion, I thought it was a nice set. He uses it sometimes but I still think it was a bit soso.

Then for Christmas I gave him a Tshirt.

Then when I was in Italy this summer I brought him back a tshirt and a camera bag holder. I think the camera holder was the most sucessful gift as it was something practical that he actually needed. However it was black. so it was still a bit soso.

so basically all the gifts I have given him have been soso. So for his birthday I want to buy something a bit more special. But I don't know what to get.

If I think practically we need a mop and bucket, which would make a really horrible gift lol. lets spend your birthday cleaning lol. Another practical thing we need is a clothes horse, nothing says a great birthday gift like lets get washing lol. Another thing we need is a bookshelf, a shoe horse, a desk, a maid.
Even better a baby mop lol

I know he would really like a touch screen phone,because his phone is ancient.. an Ipad, a gameboy 3DSI would also be ideal, but my funds are lacking.

So whats left? new pyjamas, meh, shoes? maybe,

If you have any suggestions please leave it in the comments!!!

Sunday, August 21, 2011

The missing bag?

Last Sunday was Edisons farewell lunch as I mentioned but I didn't really talk much about it. We went to a buffet restaurant in the city centre called Jimmy Chungs and to be honest it generally has a pretty good reputation amongst Irish and Chinese, As buffets go it is usually viewed as one of the better ones.

However the day after the buffet I got sick Nancy got sick and on Friday Michelle told me Edison got sick, so I guess the food wasn't as good as we thought it was... but to be honest I've heard rumours about buffets, they recycle the food, if there are food left over one day they reheat it the next day.

Well at least thats what happened in the buffet restaurant in bray and it quickly got shut down by the Health and Safety Authority, but I guess it must b difficult to prove..

Anyway directly after the buffet lunch we were all fine and I went shopping with Edison to help him pick out some gifts for his friends and family in China, we started with the typical suvenirs shops and then gradually went to other clothes shops like Footlocker, Topman, Lifestyle sports, Champion sports, River island and unfortunately Next.

Whilst shopping he bought one of those small hand luggage suitcases which you pull along and as he bought things he put them in there which was pretty convienent. Anyway "Next" was the last shop we went into before we bought ice creams :) and he bought a lovely grey sweatshirt for 35 of the most expensive things he bought all day.

Then we bought our ice cream and went upstairs and sat down and at them.

Then we went shopping again and headed for the bus and said our farewells and I got on my bus and he got on his and I thought that would be the last time I would see him again until China. 

Then on Wednesday night at 1.30AM luckily my phone was on silent and I didn't wake up, he text me to tell me he had some bad news he can't find the grey sweatshirt @.@ he'd searched everywhere and nope!

then on Wednesday I met him in the college cantine and told me he still couldn't find it. then we said goodbye again and I said good bye to Jia Qi and went home.
Then on friday I had one last excursion with Michelle we went to see Harry Potter 8 that was my third time seeing it, but i didn't want to tell her i had already seen it... because she was waiting for me to go and see it... we went to see Harry Potter 7 together so its only right that we see the last one together. It kind of set the mood for the good bye the end of an era, end of Harry potter the end of michelle's time in Ireland.

I'll miss her

Thursday, August 18, 2011

See you in China~

Yesterday was a sad day for me but I knew it was coming all along, I had to say good bye to two of my good friends Edison and Jia Qi they began there journey to fly back to China at 6AM this morning. There both flying in different directions one heading South, One heading North.

But basically it is bye bye Ireland for good. Which is quite sad, but all is not lost, I still have both of them on my QQ and I will be able to keep in touch with them ^^ and I also promised I would visit them in 2012 (If were not all dead lol, you know the end of the world conspiracy? do you believe it?) Especially Edison.

Me and my boyfriend touch wood, Are planning to fly to China for Chinese new year to stay for about 2 or 3 months. This will be my boyfriends first visit back in almost 5 years. So I think it will be an emotional to visit to say the least.

But its quite lucky, Edisons city Shenzhen is very close to my boyfriends city. So no matter what I will definitely get to go there ^^ Jia Qi on the otherhand is from Jilin (similar to my sisters name Gillian hehe) I don't really know anything about that province, so if I want to go there I will have to do some research.


But since me and my boyfriend plan to spend a week in Beijing, I am sure he will be able to fly there to meet me and my friend Jin Ma who lives there)

But anyway these days the list of places I want to visit in China are escalating all the time and I am sure I won't be able to visit all of them in one trip lol. Heres the list (the top ones are the ones I definitely want to visit)

My boyfriends city obviously

Shenzen (Edisons city)

Hong Kong (Edisons city)

Bejing/ Hebei (Jin Ma's city)

Henan (Ming's city) (A new friend I don't know to well... just met him during my last summer module)

Jillin (Jia Qi's city)

Xi'an (Want to see the terrocatta army)

Hangzhou (I saw it in the drama Love Keeps going and i heard it is the paradise of China)

Hainan ( The Hawaii of China)

I'm sure by the time we book our tickets I will have added more lol and hijacked our whole trip lol!!