Not everything was good in Ireland while I was away in China, My Granddad passed away and then two weeks later I got another phone call to say my Grandma had passed away, My Granddad was 95, and it was not really unexpected, but my Grandma was only 83 and nobody saw that coming, She was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, and we knew there was no cure for that, she got phenomena in the last week of her life and sadly passed away.
A meal with my Grandma in Shelby's
Before we went to China, We packed all our belongings and moved out of our apartment, we didn't want to pay rent for 3 months, and put everything up in my parents attic, with the intention that we would find a new place when we came back, then when my Grandma passed away, my Mom had the idea that we should move into her apartment and since we were strapped for cash we gladly accepted rightly or wrongly. Heres a few pics from around the apartment
Michael Cooking
My first bubble bath in years (my old apartment only had a shower)
Our Bedroom
Our Big Ass TV
Me eating in the dinning room
Anyway my Grandma was always a very keen Garden, She used to have a huge garden in her old house and when she moved into her apartment she still kept up the Gardening to a lesser extent on her balcony, But when she passed away all her balcony plants were sadly neglected, and when we moved in to her apartment we vowed to resurrect the garden and we started yesterday, Check out the fruits of our work, we still have a long way to go though.
This wasn't our first gardening bonding experience, When we were in China we helped Michael's Mom out with her Garden, it did attract quite a few stares, at one point and old man who seemed to be a bin man stoped his little truck beside the house and stared for a good 10 minutes, This is what its like in rural China, You just get used to it. We all look so glamourous haha!
As humans we are very very selfish, and that is why Global warming is happening and nobody cares, Animals are becoming extinct and nobody cares, well obviously we have more important things to worry about like making ends meat, and getting food on the table for our family and of course money, Your health is your wealth has been flushed down the toilet, nobody cares about the planets health or what will become of the planet for our future generation? will there be any animals left?
I just read an article this morning that kind of shocked me, "US crushes 6 tons of "blood ivory" that would be approximately 2000 elephants, I just don't see the logic of crushing it all, why would they do such a thing? I know the selling of ivory is banned and for good reason because this type of confiscation is what they are trying to avoid, they don't want to find 6 tons of ivory, but i feel now that they have found it, and since there is no way of rebirthing all these elephants, surely they can find some practical use of this ivory other than just feeding 6 tons of ivory trinkets and tusks into a giant industrial blue rock crusher?
Couldn't they sell off the ivory trinkets made out of elephant tusks and raise money to protect the elephants that are still alive? Crushing all this ivory won't do anything in terms of stopping the trade in ivory or preventing elephants from being killed for there ivory tusks? In fact i predict that another 2000 elephants are going to die as a result because these people who trade in ivory and killed all those elephants will just go out and do it again.
The money that could of been earned had these ivory trinkets been sold could have been used to educate the buyers and sellers of ivory and teach them about the damage they are doing to the worlds wildlife,
How many animals are going to be put into extinction as a result of greed, lack of education and just downright stupidity? We have already lost
The West African Black Rhinoceros,
Simmilar to the elephants, Hunted for its horn which was believed to have aphrodisiacal powers,
The Mammoth
I just think they should have come up with a better solution. Destroying the ivory is just going to fuel a bigger desire to get it. This year alone 35,000 elephants have been killed for there ivory and that is a low estimate so this 6 tons of ivory crushed is just a drop in the ocean and does nothing in terms of discouraging ivory trade.
So what is being done with all this illegal ivory that is being traded, The chinese in particular are making chopsticks, buttons, hair pins, spear tips, bow tips, needles, combs, buckles, handles, billiard balls, and of course the most modern use as piano keys. .
Up until quite recently there was no alternative to be used instead of ivory in pianos but nowadays there is, so there is no excuse for animals to be senselessly slaughtered for essentially just there teeth when there is a manmade alternative. By forbidding the trading in it, just makes it even rarer and more sought after. its just a vicious circle
Finally lets not forget the other animal long being killed for its ivory tusks elsewhere the Walrus
Well its one thing to look young and another thing to feel young and then to actually be young. Yesterday my little brother the youngest in the family returned from his holiday in Spain with his girlfriend, Although he is the youngest in the family, he is no longer the little brother he used to be. he is all grown up. 19 years old at 190cm tall, and me 24 at a measly 160cm.
Me and My brother back in 2007 in France
My brother in 2007 in France
Me, Mom, Brother, His Girlfriend, My sister September 2012
Me (looking scary) and My brother on my birthday April 2013
In he came with his suitcase full of all the stories of his holiday, the mistakes he made the trips they took and so on, It made me nostalgic for my first trip i took without my family to China, I can remember the ups and downs and everything, the argument i had with my mom the night before i flew, the wonderful sights and i saw there, the excitement.
Me in China, The year of the OX
But there is one thing i feel guilty about, it only dawned on me just now while typing this. Yesterday when my brother got back the first thing my sister said is "Iain where are our gifts?????" that was the most important thing for her, when i went to china i never bought a specific gift for her. II received a lot of jewelry when i was over there and i told her to pick what she liked. I don't know why, and I think in her own way she still resents me for that in her own way. Its never ever came up.
My brother produced 4 purses our of his suitcase, and handed me the white and pink one, and then took out 3 similar looking dark rustic coloured purses and handed them to my sister and told her, You. Mom, and Grandma can fight over these.
I know myself i am probably the easiest person to shop for because if its pink i will love it lol! Anyway I have learned that the most important thing for people is gifts you can give to them and doing it right, putting a bit of thought into the gifts you give even if its just a trinket is important.
Despite the title this is not the typical I miss a certain person type of post, although up until today I have been denying myself the feeling of missing Guo Zhi Bai who moved back to China last December. The last time I saw him we had a Japanese Lunch together, a Bento lunch box. then he left, and then I didn't hear from him until I saw a facebook update, "Guo Zhi Bai is now in a relationship with Gillian Jiang" Then i deleted him from my mind and never thought twice about calling him. I have a boyfriend he has a boyfriend the end of our story.
The other thing was, I knew if I called he was going to keep asking have i found a job yet? and the embarrassing but honest answer was no. So as the saying goes out of sight out of mind,
Then last week I started my marketing internship and today I suddenly remembered him and the things he used to say, When I was applying for my masters course, I suggested to him that I might like to do a marketing masters and he told me that one job he could never see me doing is marketing and here I am doing marketing. I think he would laugh his head off. Then I wanted to call him and did it and got his voice mail. although I have to admit it was probably one AM over there, probably not the best timing.... but still no answer,
I am still contemplating calling him tomorrow when I am on my lunch break or maybe in the morning on my way to work. But how do you start a conversation with someone you haven't spoken to for an embarrassing 5 months?
other things I am going to be missing for awhile are the following TV shows, All there season finales are rearing their ugly heads
The Vampire Diaries
90210
Gossip Girl
Once Upon a Time
Secret Circle
Desperate Housewives (OVER FOREVER)
But all is not lost I have found some new distractions
Last night I stayed at my house and watched Sex in the City 1 with my mom and Sex in the city 2 with my sister today and it really made me think about cheating and my own thoughts about it.
I just can't understand why people who cheat always have to tell their boyfriend, partner, husband or whatever what happened. Especially when it was a one time thing that meant nothing. What is the point? to relieve your concience? I just think its so selfish. I think people are better off living in oblivion. If you do something bad you should have to live with that guilt forever.
The inocent person shoudn't have to suffer through that hurt. Then my sister said to me if Michael (My boyfriend) kissed another girl would I not want to know? I really feel I would rather not. Then she said if she kissed another boy she would be living a lie. But isn't that their own fault?
In the past when I was younger maybe 14 or 15, I was bored one morning and my dad's phone was just lying there on the coffee table in the living room and even though I knew my mom had told me so many times, we have to respect peoples privacy and not read their messages I still couldn't resist.
When I read them I found out my Dad was cheating on my mom. Sometimes I think it was an optical illusion, because nothing ever materialised about it, As far as I'm aware my mom never found out about and my parents are still together.
But for 2 or 3 years and even now I had to live with that guilt in my head that I knew something I wasn't supposed to know, because I did something I wasn't supposed to do. It was a huge conflict within me that even to this day have never been able to resolve.
I even had a fair idea who the woman was, although it was only guesswork, the name was quite unusual and put two and two together and got her. I had met her, it was somebody I knew of who I had met a couple of times she was in my Dad's badminton club.
I remember around the time I found out, whenever I got angry with my Dad I always wanted to yell it at my Dad and tell him that I knew what he was doing. I even wanted to tell my mom sometimes but I was scared that (A) I would get in trouble for disobeying her, (B) the consiquences.
One of my uncles wives had an affair and my uncle found out and they got divorced and now his children from that marriage are all messed up. One of them went on drugs and the other well we never see her. So I think I would feel a hell of a lot more guilty if i ruined my sister and brothers family life, because I wanted to put my concience at ease.
I think someday I will tell him that I knew all these years what happened back then perhaps. but I really can't imagine the outcome. Would he scream at me for reading his text messages without his permission? Would he plead with me not to tell my mom? Would he break down and say how sorry he was and it meant nothing? I guess I will never know. I really don't think its worth it.
My boyfriend's family has also struggled with cheating, so don't think Chinese culture is imune to it. My boyfriends dad is the owner of a factory in another town and owns an appartment there and only comes back to the family home once a week or two weeks or a month, or maybe two monthes. My boyfriend doesn't really know and his mom obviously doesn't want to tell him, in case it hurts him.
But its normal for Chinese couples to live like this. I know Chinese couples in Ireland where one lives in the North of Ireland and the other lives in the South and they meet once a week/month whenever they have free time.
But the problem with my boyfriends parents is that. One day his Dad came back to the family home at around dinner time and hadn''t been back for almost two weeks and went bananas when there wasn't any food ready for him Then he called a delivery restaurant and a much younger girl dropped in food for him and she came into the house and started eating with him.
His mom saw this and put two and two together, and there was a bust up. His Dad claimed that, the younger girl was the owner of the restaurant, was a friend of his and he just invited her to join him. whats the problem? and they haven't talked since.
Thats why I am adamant that I really really would rather not know.
