isolation spreads like bad karma

I came back from Italy last week and immediately became immersed in college work, in fact, I ended up letting my group mates down, while I was in Italy, they were preparing a presentation and although we emailed back and fourth, they told me that they were going to split it up into 3 and I could just enjoy my holiday.

This was very kind of them, but also it made me feel very unconfortable. Because I don't like social loafing and I like to do my bit, Anyway the day I came back was a wednesday and I was tired and obviously wanted to spend time with my boyfriend and basically completely forgot about the presentation then just as we were about to go to bed, I text one of my group mates and asked were they meeting on Thursday (The presentation was on Friday)

I woke up at 10am and they told me "yep were meeting up at 11 but you don't have to come if you don't want to because you live so far away......." I really should of gone in.. but I hadn't seen my boyfriend for so long and he persuaded me to skip college for one day.

But on Friday, I felt so sorry, I hadn't seen the presentation, I didn't give any input it was just a totally embarassing experience I said sorry everytime i saw them. But in the end sorry doesn't mean anything. I didn't do anything. So of course I should be ashamed. Even today one week later, I still feel embarassed when I see them and can hardly engage in conversation with them. Although they said its fine... I still feel its not.

Then today I encountered another unconfortable situation today, not neccessarily regarding a presentation, so far this week i have had lunch with my friend Nancy and she was the one who even asked me. During the class breaks she often asks me do you want to go get water with me? and generally I say sure. Then today she did the same thing.

We went to the canteen and got our water and sat down and started chating, then one chinese girl from our class came over and I straight away said oh why don't you sit down. but I guess she was sitting somewhere else with other chinese students. Then another Chinese girl sat near us and talked to Nancy obviously in Chinese and then after she finished talking she said oh lets go back to class. Then whilst we walked back she said something that made me feel really unconfortable and out of place.

She said mmm Its wierd, I feel a bit isolated I should talk more with those chinese classmates, but I haven't been doing that to much because I have been spending lots of time with you.. then class began

Its nearly lunch time now and I feel a bit hurt, maybe I shouldn't but I don't know how to interpret it and not take offense.Now i feel isolated...

Security Alertt: Bomb in Dublin

Monday was D-day for my big Global competitive strategies presentation. For the last month or so, me and my group have been working our ass off researching Korean conglomerates such as Samsung, LG, Lotte group etc. in particular their presence in the medical sector.  we were trying to find a potential partner for an Irish medic company who sells sleep monitoring equipment, random I know, but seemingly very high tech.

Anyway after hours of practicing our presentation on Sunday afternoon and editing the report, we felt we were as ready as we would ever be, and agreed to meet one final time on Monday at 1pm to do a final run through and then we would do the presentation in front of the teacher during the class, which was between 1.30-3.30.

So on Monday I got up at a normal time and headed to Bray DART station (Train station) at around 11.30. bought my ticket, sat down as normal, train zoomed off. Then we got to the second station and there was an announcement

 
"This train will terminate in Dun Laoighraire, the buses will accept train tickets"

This didn't phase me too much because I know there are lots of buses going from Dun Laoighraire to Blackrock where my college is. However when we got to the third stop Dalkey, (where my Grandma used to live before she bought the apartment) a quiet little village with not much in it, just some restaurants, a few pubs, cafes, post office, newsagent and a castle.

Another announcement

"This is the last stop, the train is terminating and will go back to Bray, You can use your train tickets on the bus"

I knew I had 2 options one go back to Bray and wait for a bus, but I didn't have my timetable and the Bus only comes every 40 minutes. the other was to stay put and wait for a bus in Dalkey and take my chances. In hindsight I think I should of gone back to Bray.

Anyway a big mass of people (mostly tourists) headed to the bus stop. Despite going to Dalkey so many times to visit my Grandma, I had never once tried to get a bus, and I now know why.

We waited and waited and waited and by 1'oc there was still no sign of a bus. I text all my group mates and told them what had happened and that I would be there as soon as possible... Then I heard one lady with her granddaugter saying they were going to get a taxi to Dun Laoighraire. I was so desperate at this point I didn't care about the cost. I just wanted to get out of there. So I asked could I join them.  so did a polish girl.

No sooner had we arrived at the taxi rank, we saw the bus whizz buy us. SHIT, then we waited what felt like another hour for a taxi to show up.  The taxi cost 2.50 euro each which was actually much cheaper than I expected. By the time I arrived in Dun Laoighraire it was 1.40pm I waited and waited for a bus  and there was no sign I was so close to trying to get another taxi when eventually at 2.10 the bus showed up. I arrived at college at 2.30 during the class break. Then next up was our presentation.

When I got home from college I found out the reason for all the cancellations. Apparently there had been explosives found in Dun Laoighaire which potentially could have gone off. The gardai (police)  army squad all had to come disarm it.

Better late and safe than sorry.

What an adventure!

Today was a very hectic day, I had to get up at 7.45 rush out the door to catch my bus and then once I arrived I had to start practicing for our presentation. To be honest I am usually a big bag of nerves before the presentation and I dislike practicing, the less times I have to perform in front of people the better.

Today was no different the first attempt at practicing gave me stage fright and I just went completely blank and I had to apologize to the rest of the group and go rooting for my notes. The second time I was talking like a mouse, very quietly. Then we gave up and decided we would be fine.

One thing I am always super worried about when doing presentations is that we will be under time. Which is absolutely totally embarrassing and it happened to me once last semester when I was presenting with a different group and I felt like it was all my fault. I tend to speak a lot faster when I am nervous. I just want to get it finished as possible. So since then I always prepare a little more than necessary as a back up.

Another thing that is a little annoying about college presentations is that some are formal some are informal. Most people like informal because we can wear whatever we want. But I actually prefer formal because I feel if your going to do a professional presentation then you might as well do it dressed professionally.

However I find Irish formal clothes for women is really lacking and lagging behind the likes of Asia. Which is not a surprise. Recently I was skimming through some Japanese fashion Magazines such as Vogue, Seventeen and Kera all April editions and came across some of these pics. The first few are Cute Formal

 

 Here are some gothic takes on Fomal wear, I don't know if i would be brave enough to try them..

 I might try the one below..

 I like the one below its not overly gothic and looks quite sweet

Here are some vogue formal wear

 

The funny thing about the presentation was that it was on a company called Sunflower, which are involved in Tire repairs in Lithuania and Latvia. Ironically me and my boyfriend use Sunflower and Rosemary as code names for each other. When we are messing around. But I never imagined a company with a name like Sunflower to be involved in Tires.It just seems so girly.

ultimately the presentation was a success. Then I came home and It was a beautiful sunny day so me and my boyfriend decided to go out and have an adventure. We went and climbed Bray Head! 

 This is BrayHead in the distance.

 Here's the view from the top

 This is the Dart/Train going around Bray Head.

 We also saw a bungee jumper today

Then when we followed a path which led us to the middle of Greystones's Highway (the next town to Bray) we then had to walk all the way back to Bray. (A good 7 miles) My boyfriend was so stubborn and didn't want to take the bus back because "today we are walking" 

This is the Pathway we followed

So now my legs and feet feel really sore. and my boyfriends eyes feel really sore, he caught conjunctivitis.... Not a happy camper. So I'm playing nurse. Although he is a very stubborn patient.