A Series of unfortunate events

This post is a week late and its kind of referring to last weekend, I just didn't have time to write the post, with all sorts of things going on. @.@ Let me give you a quick catch up, I started Chinese classes almost 4 weeks ago,

Its something I have been planning to do for almost 2 years and a half on and off, the closest I ever got to Chinese classes before this was Rosetta Stone, I have to say despite the benefits of having a real teacher, not a computer or my boyfriend, I have to say Rosetta Stones pace is probably more suited to my pace.

So far what I have learnt is very basic, but you have to start from the bottom, to get to the top. Anyway everything was going oh so smoothly until the day after our "Commitment Anniversary" Michael gave me a Mylo and Friends duck and new slippers, He abandoned the paper theme, but i went all out I gave him eddible money, a bookmark, and a love letter and chocolate money, 

Michael cooked me a big meal on the night

Sea food chowder soup for the starter

Mash salmon and fried parsnips for the main course

Banofee pie for the dessert.

It was all yummy! We had a very nice night and felt very romantic we lit candles and drank sparkling rose wine. 

But the next day it might as well not of happened, I went up to my house to find out, my sister's boyfriend just broke up with her, and she was seriously heartbroken, 

Then I found out that my brother had gone and broken his arm, not from some macho sport like rugby or  football, but from doing a backwards running race with his friends @.@ boys are crazy!!!

Bits on the side of China

This morning I just read a post about marriage in china on the Speaking of China blog and what it can often consist of Money. Home Car. It reminded me of what happened to my poor friend Wen xue,(Teddy)  I have known this guy for about 2 years now. He is an honest, hard working guy and he is from the same city as my boyfriend. Anyway his mom decided that he was 24 and it was time to start thinking about marriage.

So when he flew back to China at Chinese New year, his mom introduced him to one of her friends daughters they soon clicked and he brought her to Singapore to meet his Dad and that went well. 

Then shortly after he had to return to Ireland to finish his education, I think this was the biggest mistake he made, because we all know long distant relationships don't work out well, but they usually work out surprisingly well for Chinese couples, as I mentioned before in the American dream post. I don't know whether couples just turn a blind eye to anything that may or may not happen in the long years of absense or what.

But anyway Teddy had only been back in Ireland for about 2 months when his girlfriend (fiance) rang him and said she had fallen in love with somebody else. This wouldn't of been so bad, only the guy she had fallen in love with was 40 years old. His girlfriend was just 21.

He straight away he booked a flight back to China to try and plead with her. He promised he would never leave China again, he told her how much he loved her, there may have been crying.

But no the girl was not to be won over, this guy dispite his age had money and thats all she could see. It didn't matter how good or honest or hard working Teddy was her mind was made up.

I asked won't she feel ashamed? you introduced her to your parents and everything, What about her parents? surely they will stop her. No they are happy this guy has money. What about the guy, he must be married already? It doesn't matter he has money that's all that counts.

This is not the first time I have heard this sort of story. My boyfriend has 3 friends who own a snooker club Xin Yue Entertainment, and would you believe 2 out of the 3 have long term girlfriends of 7 years and also have a bit on the side. and the bits on the side know about the girlfriends and have in both case met the girlfriends, and the poor girlfriends are oblivious to the whole thing. The guys who own the shop have money and that's all that counts. That's seemingly enough for the bits on the side.

Personally I have always been of the opinion, if a guy cheated on me with a one night stand, I wouldn't want to know. but an arrangement like this is just horrible.

Break up's suck, especially over Facebook

I have joined and abandoned so many social network websites starting with Bebo, Myspace, Friendster and the latest Facebook. I think Facebook is by far the most personal and nosy social network I have ever joined. On Facebook you can find out everything and anything about a person. Which is good and bad.

Recently it's been bad,

One of my good friends has been with her boyfriend for the last 3 years, in the past they used to write on each others walls things like "I love you so much xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx" or "I love you, you are the best boyfriend/girlfriend everxxxxxxxxxxxx"

which is quite romantic and maybe a bit over the top and just a bit embarrassing and sickly, but who am I to say, my boyfriend doesn't even have Facebook, He uses the Chinese equivalent RenRen which is incompatible with Facebook itself, So maybe I am just jealous that I don't get this kind of Facebook affection.

But anyway personally I have no problem with any form of PDA. and Facebook PDA is the same as any other type. But PDA in my opinion is just for kids to show off, but as you grow up you realise somethings are better off to share with just the 2 of you and not the whole world.

So in the last couple of months all the I love you's and best boyfriend/girlfriend statuses and wall posts stopped.

In the past 2 months things have changed to Public Display of Hatred (PDH). It started off with "Why are all men so unreliable"  to more recently "knight and shining armor my ass" basically the tone of the statuses have stepped up a notch.

Basically the 2 of them are not in a happy place and need to break up, and posting all these PDH statuses is not going to change reality. The first time I saw the PDH status I rang her imediately to find out what happened she complained and was angry, but then in less than a day everything was back to happy clappy, I met them on the street holding hands.

Then a few days later more PDH, and then more happy clappy times. But this weekend was crunch time. I saw the update "went from being in a relationship to single" which was followed by even more PDH such as "can you die from a heartbreak"

At times like this I am so glad me and my boyfriend don't flaunt our relationship over Facebook. Sometimes its better to keep things private. Sure relationships are important but at the end of the day you need to retain some dignity during the break up.

Anyway everyone handles a break up in their own way. Sometimes you have to vent your anger. I hope my friend will be ok.  If your interested in reading about Facebook queries check out this blog Proper Facebook Etiquette, it's quite amusing

My Chinese Name

When i started dating my first Chinese boyfriend it really bothered me that every Chinese person who comes to Ireland is required to choose a "new" English name. So I felt it was only right that i should get a "new" Chinese name. My ex boyfriend made a huge heap of excuses as to why he couldn't give me a Chinese name

Firstly you don't have a Chinese surname.
Therefore it's impossible for me to even contemplate giving you a Chinese name. End of story. I was a bit disappointed I wanted a Chinese name I hated that new names were only suitable for Chinese people but not for Irish or any foreigner for that matter. So in the end i gave up.

Then when we went to China to meet his family, All his family found it impossible to remember my name because it was so different and foreign. So i tried to suggest that maybe he could put his thinking cap on and give me some sort of Chinese name... I assured him that i would be OK with even just one word.... Then he met me half way and gave me a Direct translation of my name "Sailia" he found it on a Chinese book that had been directly translated from English into Chinese.

I know i said I would be happy with any Chinese name... I quickly explained to him i didn't actually mean any... I want a real name not some made up direct translation name.... He refused to accept it and said its this or nothing. So i decided to stick with nothing.

Finally when we came back from China and I pursued the Chinese name one final time. He asked his Mom to pick up a Chinese name for me! Then i got the name Tian Tian. meaning  Sweetie.

I was really touched. His mom was really kind and nice at the beginning she always tried to make me feel comfortable whenever we visited. She believed western girls would never sleep on the hard cold ground so she paid for me and my boyfriend to stay at a hotel. When we went to China she rang my boyfriend everyday and instructed him to take care of me and make sure i eat good food and make sure he brings me to the right places and watches my bag on the street. His mom lived in Ireland but the rest of his family lived in China.

Sadly when she heard me and my boyfriend were talking about marriage she forced my ex boyfriend to break up. :(

So after that my "sweet" Chinese name was no longer as sweet as I thought. So I reverted back to Sarah period  I used Sarah as my screen name on QQ and a Chinese girl told me that no one uses there real names on QQ in China. So she helped me create a new Chinese name and I then became Zhi Han and she even gave me a Chinese Surname which was inspired by my Surname. Lin

Since that day my Chinese name has been Lin Zhi Han. However no one actually calls me that... Although when my boyfriend saved my number on his phone he saved it as Zhi Han. :) and I saved his as Michael lol!

Sometimes my boyfriend calls me Sarah Chen! So it makes me wonder will i ever actually change my name to Sarah Chen? I don't know if the shoe fits?